Doesn’t it feel like March is here in no time but then disappears just like that…
We are in the middle of March now and for my ‘justovaryacting’ Facebook page I have been having a theme of the month that started in January. However, I have come to realise that I haven’t picked one for this month yet and I am running out of TIME.
So, this got me thinking…what is it about time that causes such barriers in our lives. What could we do if we had more time? How much time do we waste on unimportant things?
You often hear people say;
“It’s too late now…”
“If only we had more time with them…”
“I need more time…”
Time has become such a detrimental aspect of our lives and can have quite negative feelings/experiences attached to it. “She is being moody, must be her ‘TIME’ of the month…” I wonder how often the use of time damages us psychologically. I know that personally this month, nearly everyday I have been beating myself up about not thinking of a theme for my page and that time is running out. The truth is, my blogs and support page are all done in my own time, unpaid and purely from my passionate, giving nature. I want to raise awareness and I want to support others who are experiencing the same thing, however I also have a life, a very busy life and sometimes the things I want to do get pushed aside, due to TIME.
So, it seemed logical to me to make this months theme about TIME. Premature ovarian insufficiency is very much about time;
Time that has run out to biologically have children, time of starting menopause early – or time for ‘the change’ as it is often referred by, time to take medication, time to start fertility treatment, time to end fertility treatment, the right time to tell others, time to grieve, time to mourn a life you have never had, time to accept, times of the year (Mother’s Day, Christmas etc) time to rest, the right time to tell potential lovers, time to focus on careers….I could go on.
Since diagnosis in 2016 it has felt very much that time has become more significant than ever. Mostly I have felt what a waste of time the previous 26 years of my life has been. I had grown up with the idealistic view that my health would be great, I would meet a man, get a house, marry and have children, because isn’t that what we are brought up to believe? So being diagnosed with a life changing condition certainly turned all of my ‘ideal’ upside down and I felt/feel that I am starting out again, finding myself again and rebuilding my life. I certainly feel robbed of choice, of experiences and of time.
All of this being said, time can heal if we allow it to. On reflection I am in a much better place than I was two years ago and hopefully in two more years I can say the same. Everyday brings a new experience with POI and Infertility, but as time passes I learn more and more. Some days are harder than others admittedly, timing is rubbish for most things but I do refuse to let time ruin me.
Listen to your body, listen to your mind, listen to your needs, life is too short to waste ‘time’.