It is nearing the end of world childless week and I have been wanting to write something all week but haven’t really felt ready or had chance to really think about what I wanted to say.
I have read many posts from others who have shared amazing experiences and deep meaningful thoughts which has been so lovely to see, yet so very wounding also. Wounding because I can relate to most and also because it is a sad reality that many suffer infertility. And trust me it is a suffering.
I am not at a stage in my life where children were (before diagnosis) and are now (after diagnosis) a plan for the future (although I always wanted them). It is extremely mind blowing to have to hear you are infertile before you had even considered starting a family, I really did take for granted that it would just happen for me when the time was right.
How wrong I was.
It is very hard to hear of pregnancy announcements. And I feel guilt for saying that it truly pisses me off that some will become parents, when they can barely look after themselves. All of those children taken into care, all of those children neglected, all of those unplanned ‘oh well’ children, all of those irresponsible parents……
In fact, I don’t feel too guilty…. and who can really blame me?
It’s been a tough few months for me personally. This diagnosis of premature ovarian failure (early menopause) has quite literally kicked the shit out of me both physically and mentally.
It is just still so RAW.
But I am not writing this for pity. I simply ask that more acknowledgment is given to such a shit diagnosis. I ask that you bare in mind your loved ones who may be struggling with fertility, struggling because they cannot be a mother/father, struggling that they won’t be a grandparent, struggling because they have suffered loss of their child/children, struggling because of struggling!…..
Send them a text, give them a call or squeeze them extra tight next time you see them.
“You cannot erase someone’s pain, but you could help it hurt a little less…..”