So, here it goes, my first ever blog.
I have never really known what to think about blogging but I guess I will find out. Hopefully it’ll be a great experience.
Saturday 9th April
After having several blood tests at my GP surgery, I awaited the results with little anticipation. I first went a few months ago after FINALLY having enough of not feeling ‘well’ and fatigued. But as most things in life are put down to stress, I convinced myself that this is what my ill-feeling was, “I’ve been having a hard time lately so I am just tired”…..this is what I told myself.
Little did I know that my reproductive system was shutting down and refusing to play ball….but that wasn’t all.
My GP phoned me on a Saturday…..A SATURDAY! Since when do GP’s phone at weekends? Instantly my first thought was ‘this isn’t going to be good’. So, here is my diagnosis….
I have premature ovarian failure, ironically abbreviated to POF, but nothing like the dating website I can assure you, although almost as frustrating. Basically my ovaries are not functioning as they should be, not producing oestrogen or progesterone. My brain is attempting to tell my body to produce these important hormones, but my ovaries are closed for business. Therefore, I have also had to face the fact that I am, if not definitely, pretty much infertile. I am 26.
To add to this already life changing news, I am also going through the MENOPAUSE. That’s right……THE MENOPAUSE. I feel the need for capitals when I write that because again…… I AM 26 YEARS OLD
Monday 11th April
I arranged an appointment to speak to my GP straight away. The symptoms are all there. The sweats have been horrendous and frankly embarrassing. The shine I get on my chin from hot flushes has become famous…..Then there’s the UTI’s, spending a fortune on antibiotics…. Oh and on migraine relief tablets, as that too is a symptom. Palpitations, joint stiffness, pains and mood changes also add to the catalogue of issues I have suffered, but always with a smile! But the hot flushes……man I cannot wait for those to be over, the only hot flush I want in my life is when I meet Ewan McGregor….Lying to myself is also a symptom 😉
Jokes aside, this has obviously been devastating news for me which is hard to swallow right now. I cry, I sob, I laugh and I deny. It is very rare for this to happen to someone at such a young age and I can totally sympathise with anyone going through the same thing, it’s horrible both physically and emotionally. And the obvious question is…..why me?
I know people who do not want children, but they still can.
I know people who have children, but aren’t good parents.
The choice and function of my body has been taken away from me and with no reason as to why. I am going through something that a woman in her 50’s/60’s dreads, with no reason as to why. I am a great believer in ‘Everything happens for a reason’ but it can seem a struggle to understand what that reason is when something like this happens to you.
So the point of blogging is to raise awareness of something that I certainly had no clue about. It’s to share my journey of what is happening and to read views and opinions from others. It’s to rant and rave about the support given (more the lack of) which is more than likely going to be my next blog. But to be honest it is mostly to enable myself to keep what sanity I have left and share my emotions, thoughts and feelings rather than stay in bed sulking eating ice cream everyday…..(although that does sound great)
So, my first blog is done. I could write all day but like an EastEnders cliff hanger, I like to try and keep things interesting. However, If like me you don’t actually like EastEnders, then i am in trouble and will need to try harder.
Thank you for reading about me….
30 thoughts on “The day that made me blog…”
I had no idea it existed! It’s really amazing of you to share your story to help raise awareness and encourage people who are having similar symptoms to see their GP. Always here if you need anything
Thank you lovely! I had never heard of it either and it’s a very scary thing to go through. Your support means a lot! x
Aw Steph….bless you.
Massive hugs from me 😢
I worked with a lady who had this condition. She already had a child and her menopause began at 29.
If you need anything, let me know xx
Thank you Shirley! Means a lot, it really does x
Great stuff for your first blog hun really proud of you.you are extremely brave for doing this and I’m right behind you all the way xxx
Thanks sweet, love you x
You’re so brave steph I had no idea I admire you so much more than ever. Keep smiling and sharing we’ll get through this together xxx
Thank you Choi xx
This actually upsets me just reading it, let alone having to ever go through it. You are such an amazing person and should be so proud of yourself for sharing it with everyone and raising awareness for something I and I’m sure many other people have never heard of. I’m sure you will receive nothing but respect and support! Sending you lots and lots of love! Xxx
So sweet of you Paige! Thank you so much x
Oh it didn’t show that it had posted, so I wrote another one!
Honestly, your a brave person! Xxx
This upsets me just reading it, let alone ever having to go through it. You should be so proud of yourself for sharing this with everyone and raising awareness for something I and I’m sure many other people have never heard of. You are such an amazing, inspirational woman and so so brave! Sending you lots of love and support! Xxx
Thank you for sharing your story, other women going through the same will be able to read this and get strength from how amazing you are !! You have helped and supported me in many ways to come to terms with things I have found out recently about my health, so I really hope I can do the same for you !! Your one of the kindest most beautiful people I know, this post will help so many women your so kind to share your story to support others xxxx
Thank you Amy! Means a lot xxx
You are simply amazing ❤️
Even more amazing as I have a friend like you x
What an inspiration! My very best friend finds out the worst news you can imagine at the age of 26. When steph told me about her diagnosis first of all the other day I couldn’t help but cry for her. After seeing this blog I feel inspired and truly honored to have a such a person in my life who instead of drowning her sorrows is putting on a brave face and as always is helping others. Excuse the french but my dear friend has been through shit over the last few years so to be reacting the way she is to her awful news makes me proud. Love you lots x x x
Wow I don’t know what to say sorry doesn’t seem right, I feel numb why I feel like that I’m not sure god knows how your feeling I just can’t believe what I’ve read, so many questions that start with why? I just, I dunno
I love you so much steph that to say your fantasticly amazing is and understatement!
I’m always hear for you!!!
Thanks Vicky!!! Love you lots x
My heart goes out to you yes the symptoms are shit I agree I started mine in my early thirties but I had my children after a few really bad years I was offered the marina coil not sure of the spelling for this but I can say it was the best thing I’ve done it’s a hormone coil and it really sorted out the symptoms for me made me feel human again I’m not sure if you would be able to get this but it’s worth asking your doctor hope this help a little bit sending lots of love xx
Thank you Ann-Marie! I am seeing a specialist soon I hope so I will ask them about that and other options. It’s nice to know that you know what I am going through too x
This is why you are my special friend 😉 there will be a reason 🙂 keep smiling Stephanie. You are a young amazing inspiration! You have me for your journey….I’m following 😊
Thanks special friend…… ☺️ X
Thanks for sharing your diagnosis and all those emotions I can only imagine that you must be going through Steph. Good to connect with you and to offer the support of being heard by other women in Red Tent circle, I hope you come along and feel this sisterhood support. Please share your blog with them on Facebook. I’m finding a long slow perimenopause hard enough in my 50’s but my heart goes out to you in what you must be going through.
Thank you so much for your words of support and I shall definitely look into the groups you run. And of course I’ll happily share this on your page. Thanks again, means a lot! X
Hi Steph, you write so eloquently about your diagnosis and I totally get you on the welter of emotions a prem menopause brings! I’m a bit older than you now (38) but had prem menopause at age 32 so can really relate to what you’re going through. Your blog is amazing, good on your for raising awareness! You probably know about this already but there are more of us! If you check out the Daisy Network there are meetups and they have lots of useful info. Also Gateway Women is great but I found the Daisy Network really helpful for getting info when just getting to grips with things. Looking forward to reading more of your blog, love Cat xxx
Reading your blog was like reading a portion of my own life story! I too was 26 and went through the same thing. I have a few memories that really stick out about it all. The first being told – my GP actually popped into my house, told me to put the kettle on as he was parched (we lived in a small village so t’was pretty normal) and then when we sat down, he gave me the dreaded news & told me that he was sending me straight to an excellent consultant (he turned out to be Dr Frankenstein, injecting me with more and more drugs every time I saw him). The second was going to a wedding and about to get out of the car when I passed out in a heap on the floor – must have looked like I was drunk as my poor hubby was trying to pour me back into the car LOL. The third was being told that was it, no more children so that’s that (we already thankfully, had a little boy but I’d had several miscarriages and was desperate for another baby) and then 6 months later, finding out that I was 4½ months pregnant. We’re still trying to figure him out and he’s 25 now!
What you’re going through is horrible, traumatic & a completely alien concept. If I can help in any way then please say the word. Looks like you’ve got plenty of support from other wonderful ladies and I hope it helps. I’m looking forward to keeping up with your blog. Take care and big hugs, Donna xx
Thank you so much for commenting. It is honestly so great to hear from others who just ‘get it’ and have been there themselves. It certainly isn’t the easiest thing to go through so young. Some people have said ‘it’s just the menopause, it was going to happen anyway’. Yes it is but not at age 26. There is a lot to get your head around with the menopause.
I think it’s lovely that your GP visited your house. My GP is great, I just hope the specialist is just as good. Do you mind if I ask you what medication you had for it? I’m obviously still wondering how I will be medicating myself etc. So much to get my head around.
Thanks again. New blog up later or tomorrow. ☺️ X
Do you mind if I ask you what specifically you were feeling prior to tests etc?? What your gp looked for in testing?? I’m 29 and constantly exhausted and am always told by my doctor that I’m fine and it’s just stress of my job and life. I’m just curious how you approached this. Nonetheless, I can’t even imagine the gut wrenching feeling of experiencing this and wrapping your head around everything. You’re a brave girl and I send positive vibes to you from ontario Canada xo
Thank you for your message. Sorry to hear you’ve been feeling exhausted!
Your GP may be right and it could just be stress, however it’s good to find out for sure. I went to my GP over two years with different symptoms of the menopause (I didn’t know that was what was wrong with me though) I kept getting urine infections and having hot flushes but I always put it down to something else.
Then I kept feeling absolutely exhausted. But it’s more than just feeling tired. I couldn’t sleep properly or concentrate as good as I used too. I felt like I had no energy at all. So even if I did sleep all night I would still wake up tired but not understand why. So I went back to the GP thinking I had a problem with my thyroid maybe, luckily he was a great doctor and sent me for some blood tests. After the first lost of blood tests he told me that he wasn’t too happy with my results, so he repeated them. After these results it showed the same level of oestrogen and progesterone which was hardly anything as my ovaries weren’t producing them. So my brain was trying tell my body to produce these really important hormones which was making me feel extremely tired and quite dizzy.
If you have regular periods then it is still wise to have a blood test because you can have the menopause but still have periods for up to a year before they stop completely.
So I would advice seeing your GP and requesting a blood test and tell him the true extent of your symptoms etc. It may just be something else but you never know.
I hope this has helped you, I wish you all the best and hope you feel better soon X