So, here it goes, my first ever blog.
I have never really known what to think about blogging but I guess I will find out. Hopefully it’ll be a great experience.
Saturday 9th April
After having several blood tests at my GP surgery, I awaited the results with little anticipation. I first went a few months ago after FINALLY having enough of not feeling ‘well’ and fatigued. But as most things in life are put down to stress, I convinced myself that this is what my ill-feeling was, “I’ve been having a hard time lately so I am just tired”…..this is what I told myself.
Little did I know that my reproductive system was shutting down and refusing to play ball….but that wasn’t all.
My GP phoned me on a Saturday…..A SATURDAY! Since when do GP’s phone at weekends? Instantly my first thought was ‘this isn’t going to be good’. So, here is my diagnosis….
I have premature ovarian failure, ironically abbreviated to POF, but nothing like the dating website I can assure you, although almost as frustrating. Basically my ovaries are not functioning as they should be, not producing oestrogen or progesterone. My brain is attempting to tell my body to produce these important hormones, but my ovaries are closed for business. Therefore, I have also had to face the fact that I am, if not definitely, pretty much infertile. I am 26.
To add to this already life changing news, I am also going through the MENOPAUSE. That’s right……THE MENOPAUSE. I feel the need for capitals when I write that because again…… I AM 26 YEARS OLD
Monday 11th April
I arranged an appointment to speak to my GP straight away. The symptoms are all there. The sweats have been horrendous and frankly embarrassing. The shine I get on my chin from hot flushes has become famous…..Then there’s the UTI’s, spending a fortune on antibiotics…. Oh and on migraine relief tablets, as that too is a symptom. Palpitations, joint stiffness, pains and mood changes also add to the catalogue of issues I have suffered, but always with a smile! But the hot flushes……man I cannot wait for those to be over, the only hot flush I want in my life is when I meet Ewan McGregor….Lying to myself is also a symptom 😉
Jokes aside, this has obviously been devastating news for me which is hard to swallow right now. I cry, I sob, I laugh and I deny. It is very rare for this to happen to someone at such a young age and I can totally sympathise with anyone going through the same thing, it’s horrible both physically and emotionally. And the obvious question is…..why me?
I know people who do not want children, but they still can.
I know people who have children, but aren’t good parents.
The choice and function of my body has been taken away from me and with no reason as to why. I am going through something that a woman in her 50’s/60’s dreads, with no reason as to why. I am a great believer in ‘Everything happens for a reason’ but it can seem a struggle to understand what that reason is when something like this happens to you.
So the point of blogging is to raise awareness of something that I certainly had no clue about. It’s to share my journey of what is happening and to read views and opinions from others. It’s to rant and rave about the support given (more the lack of) which is more than likely going to be my next blog. But to be honest it is mostly to enable myself to keep what sanity I have left and share my emotions, thoughts and feelings rather than stay in bed sulking eating ice cream everyday…..(although that does sound great)
So, my first blog is done. I could write all day but like an EastEnders cliff hanger, I like to try and keep things interesting. However, If like me you don’t actually like EastEnders, then i am in trouble and will need to try harder.
Thank you for reading about me….